Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
