That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
