i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
