i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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