I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
