Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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