I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
