if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and she was petting her beer can
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
