Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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