Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
