u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
