is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
