So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
