mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
