You're my little dorito
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm always down for nudity.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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