hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
