it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
