i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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