i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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