Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
