the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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