I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
