it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
