The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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