people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
