what if every blade of grass was a penis?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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