I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I still have a little drunk in my system
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
