Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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