therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Randomize
