I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
