You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
