I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
