he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
