She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
