About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
