Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
