1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Duck Duck Cougar?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
