got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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