Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
