i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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