we're chasing vodka with high fives
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
