He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
