At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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