if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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