it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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