I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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