You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
