I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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