Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
