i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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